On this page 6 sections
In an emergency, call 111. If you feel unsafe on a date, leave and get help. You don't owe anyone an explanation.
Before you meet
- Keep chatting in the app at first. Blocking and reporting work there, and you don't have to share your number until you're comfortable.
- Have a video call. A short call confirms the person matches their photos, and it's a good way to see if you click.
- Search their photos. A reverse image search shows if the photos appear elsewhere online under another name.
- Keep personal details back. Hold off on your home address, workplace details and anything financial.
- Trust your gut. If something feels off, you can stop replying, unmatch or report.
Signs of a romance scam
Romance scammers build trust over days or weeks, then ask for money. Watch for:
Asking for money.
For an emergency, a plane ticket, a fee, gift cards or cryptocurrency. This is the biggest red flag of all.
Investment tips.
A "sure thing" in crypto or trading that they want to help you get into.
Rushing off the app.
Pushing to move to WhatsApp or another messaging app straight away.
No video, ever.
Always a reason the camera doesn't work or they can't meet.
Moving too fast.
Strong feelings very early, before you've met.
Inconsistent stories.
Details about their life, work or location that don't add up.
If a match asks for money, stop replying and report them in the app. You can also report scams to Netsafe.
Meeting for the first time
Meet somewhere public. A café, a busy park or a bar. Our date ideas for each city stick to public places, and Matcha's meet in the middle planner only suggests cafés, bars and restaurants, about halfway between you, without either of you sharing where you live.
Tell a friend. Let someone know who you're meeting, where and when, or share your location.
Get yourself there and back. Drive, take public transport or a rideshare, so you can leave when you want.
Keep it short. A coffee or a walk is easy to end politely, and easy to extend if it's going well.
Look after your drink. Keep an eye on it, and get a new one if you've left it.
If something goes wrong
Block and report the person in the app, then get help:
- Police, emergencies: call 111.
- Police, non-emergencies: call 105 or report online at 105.police.govt.nz.
- Netsafe: for online harassment, scams and image-based abuse. Call 0508 638 723, text "Netsafe" to 4282, or report at netsafe.org.nz.
- Safe to talk: the sexual harm helpline, any time. Call 0800 044 334 or text 4334.
- Women's Refuge: for family violence, any time. Call 0800 733 843.
How Matcha helps keep you safe
- Photos are checked on upload. A photo needs a face in it, explicit images are removed, and photos copied from elsewhere online are flagged.
- Block and report from anywhere. From someone's profile, their card in Discover or your chat.
- Reports are reviewed by people. Our moderators look at every report.
- Women message first. When a man and a woman match, she starts the conversation.
- Plan a date without sharing your address. Meet in the middle only needs your suburb, never shows it to your match, and suggests a public place about halfway between you.
Common questions
Should I video call before a first date?
It's a good idea. It confirms who you're talking to and makes the first meeting less awkward.
What should I do if a match asks for money?
Don't send it. Stop replying, report them in the app, and report the scam to Netsafe.
When should I share my phone number?
When you're comfortable, usually after you've met or had a video call. There's no rush.
Is it okay to leave a date early?
Yes. If you feel uncomfortable, leave. A simple "I'm going to head off" is enough.